Third Culture Kids - How To Best Interact With Them In The Workplace

Have you noticed how you act differently around your parents vs. your friends, back people vs. brown people vs. white people, you act differently around your grandparents vs. your cousin? It’s normal, it’s natural and it’s helpful to act differently around different groups of people. Imagine acting like you would with your best friends when you are around your seven year old neighbor, doesn’t work. I am going to tell you about a group of people that are typically clumped in the wrong category, Third Culture Kids. TCKs are people whose parents were generally in international business, diplomatic corps, military or missionaries, etc. I am a MK-TCK (Missionary Kid, Third Culture Kid), it hangs off the edge of my name like a title. Lys Lynn, MK, TCK - but my degree is my life experiences and not a diploma handed to me by some white-bearded man with a robe on. Let me define TCK for you as said by Dr. Ruth Hill Useem who coined the phrase.

“A TCK is a person who has spent a significant part of their developmental years outside their parents‘ culture. The TCK builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership of any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK‘s life experiences, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.”

You will encounter these people everywhere, especially as you enter the workplace once you’ve graduated from this university. I am here to inform you why knowing about TCKs is very important to you, the general strengths and weaknesses of a Third Culture Kid and how to best interact with them.
"So why is learning about TCK’s important to me?" you're saying. "I have my life. I do my thing. How does their life affect mine?" TCK’s are taking over the world. The number is increasing at an extremely rapid rate as more and more people travel, have international careers and raise their children in different countries. International Schools are booming, filled with Embassy kids and Military children. The TCK’s political significance is increasing. Even the United States Department of State is getting in on the TCK wave, having a full section about us in their online journals. Few cultures are remaining pure. There is intermixing of peoples going on and there is no way to stop it because methods of travel are getting easier and easier. That is why you need to know about TCKs.
So what are the strengths and weaknesses of the typical TCK? One of the major permanent struggles of a TCK is that they don’t have a culture to adhere to. They don’t have roots. They don’t belong to their parents culture and they don’t belong to the culture that raised them either. Their mode of speech can reflect that of a different language. They typically used the words “no problem” instead of “you‘re welcome”. They have confused political loyalties.
Culture is very significant in a person’s life. It creates unity and acceptance by telling you how to dress, how to act, what to assume, believe and hold dear. Not having one set culture is confusing, not to mention the reverse culture shock TCK's go through when the enter their home culture. One MK named Peters said that “feeling that you’re out of synch with people your own age can be really frustrating.” They don’t understand the same jokes you do. They don’t know what you mena when you say “Simon was so mean tonight, so judgmental. I heard he‘s retiring.” They think “Who‘s Simon? Is he a teacher here?” But at the same time TCKs can talk for hours about the killings happening in Guinea right now and discuss furtively about which international airplane companies to use and why.
Growing up "abroad" has it's advantages, every transition changes something about you as a person. The funny thing is that the TCK’s strengths stem from the same root as their weaknesses. TCK’s come from every type of background from every corner of this world, mixing and combining every culture they come in contact with to create their own culture that is very inclusive of all peoples. They are what Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King and every other peace activist is fighting for because TCKs belong nowhere and accept everyone. TCK’s don’t bow to one single form of government or to one political figure but to ideas and shared values and beliefs. And they have the benefit of blending in with the home culture which makes them impossible to spot in a crowd, that is what makes them HIDDEN IMMIGRANTS.

Dr. Paul G. Hiebert emphasizes that culture is learned from the environment. I agree.
The Foreigner both looks different and thinks different. No surprise there.
The Adopted person looks different and thinks alike.
The Mirror of you looks alike and thinks alike.
But the Hidden Immigrant looks like you and thinks totally different from any of the above categories. You expect them to think like you and understand you too, but most of the time they are unable to do so completely.

"The TCK Profile"

So now you are asking "How can I best interact with them in the workplace if they don't fully understand my culture?" Well, the answer is that they are trying, hard. TCK's are wired to adapt to cultures, but in their own home culture it is more likely that they stick to coping instead of adapting. NOT GOOD!
Most TCK’s grew up in countries that were relationship-oriented and not time-oriented. The best way to interact with a TCK is to approach them knowing that they enjoy making friends and are interested in learning about your beliefs and goals because that is what is highly-valued in relationship-oriented countries. The TCK has a lot of different experiences, a wide worldview and is typically good with people, use that to your advantage in the workplace. For nurse, patient comes in who doesn’t speak English, TCKs are generally good at communicating without words or the TCK might even know their language. Do you work at a business? The TCK will be an excellent communicator with all your clients, especially with more difficult people.
In a totally different aspect, for Teachers, if a child comes in whose father is in the military and she isn’t making friends easily, this is your TCK. Interact with the child and make sure to explain to the child the cultural norms of America and most importantly be patient. Patience is a virtue. Many teachers have caught their TCK students peeing in the bushes, eating flowers and other habits their home culture would consider strange. Let the TCK watch you do things in order to learn how it works. For example, using a water-fountain (this goes for younger and adult TCKs, actually). Switching countries is a high learning curve! As always, the best way to interact with an peer TCK is to treat them like an adult and forgive their idiosyncrasies.

All people really want is to be accepted, respected and needed. It's no different for TCKs, their sense of belonging is in relationships. Third Culture Kid’s look like regular people, they can hid easily, but inside they are struggling to watch and learn, from the people around them, how to act, dress and talk. Third Culture Kid’s have seen a lot and added a lot of cultures into their own personal repertoire, which as I have said before makes it difficult for them to adapt to their own home culture. So help them out a little! Take the time to know their values and beliefs, to find ideals you share, and most importantly help them learn your culture and don‘t be afraid to ask them questions about theirs. This will create a more productive working environment when working with TCKs, the hidden immigrants. 


CITATIONS
“The TCK Profile” seminar material, Interaction Inc., 1989, 1
Skipper, Rebecca G. Third Culture Kid: Growing Up Abroad Has It’s Advantages. Retrieved October 22, 2009 from: http://www.transitionsabroad.com/publications/magazine/0009/third_culture_kids_research.shtml
Third Culture Kids Retrieved October 22, 2009 from : http://www.state.gov/m/dghr/flo/c21995.htm
Third Culture Kids by David Pollock